Maria Cosper, Lansing, MI helps care for her 87-year old father-in-law who has lived for 8 years with her and her husband. He still drives and is fairly independent. She also helps her husband’s mother and step-father who live next door. Her mother-in-law has Alzheimer’s disease and needs 24-hour care. In addition, she and her daughter, Eva, help care for her cousin’s father, who is “well loved”, to give her cousin respite.
Maria often became emotional talking about her relatives. “I still hold a lot of respect for my father-in-law and it’s difficult to see his decline. He’s still doing pretty well but he’s not the man that he used to be and to see that in his eyes, in his behavior, and to switch roles, it’s all difficult. But we’re so glad that he’s here and that we’re able to help him in his final years.” She described a big close family with nearly 70 cousins. Her mother’s family were migrant workers, born in Texas. They would follow the crops. She says she can’t understand how there can be older people with no one to care for them. “The example that I saw in my family and other Mexican families was that when the people got old—grandma and grandpa and uncle, if they couldn’t take care of themselves then they just moved in with family.”
Maria doesn’t identify as a caregiver. “Just a daughter-in-law and niece.” She acknowledges that training on dementia, body mechanics, and handling certain situations would be helpful and concern about being strong enough for some of the physical activity. She’s grateful for a friend she hired to provide DCW help and without whom she says she would be overwhelmed. And she would like policy makers to know “there are many families out there who would like to keep their elderly at home for as long as possible but it’s very difficult without a lot of support. There needs to be a different mindset. We need to have people that are trained, willing, and able to help.”